


The Presence of Fear

by nostalgicmemories (Iolaire02)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bizarre Formatting, Second Person, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:26:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26512120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iolaire02/pseuds/nostalgicmemories
Summary: Choose a word: fear. Describe it. Now do the same with another.
Kudos: 1





	The Presence of Fear

**Author's Note:**

> The style I wrote this in was inspire by a Cherik fic I read a while back; it was a really fascinating piece, and I wanted to try the transitioning that author did. I'm afraid I didn't do it justice.

Some days, there is nothing but a choking feeling that rises up and hulks before you, shrouded in shadows. It wraps around your shoulders heavily, and you can feel its weight threatening to pull you down, to pull you under and hold you there. And this feeling that greets you at night, in the morning, that lurks in the shadows, it caresses your cheek, leaves a burning trail of fire across your face, and you are left with a sick feeling in your stomach, you are left with an overwhelming sense of fear. Some days - most days - you feel as though you are being pulled underwater and held there, or you are shoved into a dark cave, or you are standing at the edge of an awe inspiring cliff, with hands at your back, shoving, and it is terrible in the way that fear is

beautiful, in the way that high heights and expansive skies and depthless oceans and sharp, shining stars always are. It is striking, all these stark lines and smooth curves and bold colors that etch mountains and clouds and trees and fire and rain into your retinas, where you see them each time you close your eyes. And there is beauty in creatures, too, brush strokes and fingerprints that mark the skins of these animals. And there are smatterings, constellations, on faces and arms, and there are jewels set in smooth faces that are draped in vivid color. And you look at the world and you see all this beauty. And you walk through this world, and you are surrounded

and people surround you, yet you are still so very alone. You can look through glass, you can look through people, and you only see gray and tears and emptiness and you are alone, alone, alone. You are standing in the middle of a crowd, in the middle of a group, and you are talking and laughing, and you are still apart, still on the sidelines, stole alone. There is something that nests behind your ribs, beneath your lungs, around your heart, and it constricts, expands, prevents breath, and it is like a fist wants to reach out and grasp your throat in its fingers and squeeze, and remind you how alone you are. This presence makes you want to fight back, makes you want to scream and shout and rage at it - how dare it remind you of how lethargic you have become? How dare it try to enslave you? How dare this presence make you forget that

you are free. You control your freedom when you run, fast as you can, when you jump high and far and you take off flying. You can touch the moon, the sun, the stars. You can breathe in deep, laugh loudly, you can remember the times you were chained. You can remember the time you broke free, the time you ran as fast as possible, and you reached a cliff, and you didn’t stop. You did not stop. You kept running, and you jumped, and you flew on the currents of the masterless winds. You break the chains that hold you, and you fly. All around you, there is light and air and beauty. But night falls and there are stars, and the moon, but there is also this:

darkness leeches into your bones and it blinds you with black spots floating across your eyes. This blindness is not like the kind that comes from staring into the sun. This blindness is the kind that comes from standing in the closet, or wandering around the house at midnight with every light off. This blindness - this darkness - is the fear that sends shivers up your spine and makes your hair stand on end, because everyone knows that the darkness is where monsters lurk, waiting to swallow your hopes and dreams whole. It doesn’t matter that the inky blackness that cloaks you and hides you is protecting you. It doesn’t matter that you’re not alone in the dark, because other people are there, too. There is this darkness that covers you, that covers the entire world, but you can’t see your hand in front of you, so how can you see

there is an entire universe that no one knows. There is so much to be discovered, in the stars and galaxies, and you can’t even make it off of your planet, you can’t even make it out of your own mind because you feel like there’s nowhere to go, there’s nothing to see… There’s an entire universe out there for you to explore, darling. There’s entire worlds for you to go to, where you can escape your own mind, and don’t you want to be free? Don’t you ever look up at the sky at night and wonder what’s out there in that fear-inspiring, beautiful, lonely, unrestrained, dark universe?


End file.
